I have found that a mother does not need to hear these words after a surgical birth "at least the baby and you are safe" "it could have been much worse" "well I had *this, this, this* happen".
A good friend had recently planned a Birth Center birth, without any intention of a c-section. But due to an arrest to decent, the baby would not come out. This was after 12 hours of pushing and a 2 hour 2-10 dilation. This mother did a lot. And did not get the outcome she wanted. And her mental health and emotions are VERY valid and should be valued.
I want us to stop trying to say all the right words and instead simply support.
What does this look like? Here are a few examples:
Go to the hospital and sit with the mom hold her hand and let HER talk
Bring a care package for mom:
- organic pads
- face wipes
- a facial mask ( so many at Target now)
- a soft wrap or shawl
- lavender oil
- affirmation cards
- a candle for the room
Send a dinner to the room at the hospital
Bring her frozen foods after she is home
Order her postmates after she is home
Offer to watch her other children for a night
Buy her a beautiful new journal for processing her thoughts
Here is a great Blog Posts to read for more insight as a mama and a support:
I would love to hear how you supported a mother or how you would have like to be supported. Please comment on my Instagram posts here .